Arghhhh

Lately I have been losing my mind. Stuff keep disappearing and it is so very frustrating because when I try to remember when I had the item in my hand I just draw a blank. Our spare key mysteriously disappeared about 1 month ago. If course after countless hours raking my brain and trying to remember what I did with the darn thing I gave up. Sunday looking in my little backpack I find my glasses hard case and inside the darn key. MEC decided to put it there don't ask me why. The joy of finding the spare key had a short life since I misplaced my sunglasses. I wouldn't mind so much but unfortunately I need prescription which puts the cost of a new pair of sunglasses in the neighborhood of 300$. I am seriously considering LASIK since I have lost like 2-3 pairs of glasses so far!
So today I ditched my scheduled run to go to lenscrafters instead since I am not elligible for anything until october. I find 3 pairs of sunglasses I like, 1- Cannot put RX on of course the cheapiest, the one I really really like is an OAKLEY with polarized lenses which I have to pay for eventhough I will remove them to put polarized prescription lenses on it! Of course they need my vision prescription thingy which I don't have and they have to custom order since only OAKLEY can put the prescription lenses on their glasses... Since the guy annoyed the heck out of me I decided to give up! So here I am annoyed, without sunglasses and my lunch break wasted on this stupid thing!
I should have gone for a run. We are leaving for vacation tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm gonna do to survive without sunglasses for a whole week end in the sun!
I am going to have to take the house apart to find those damn glasses! Comeon how far can they have gone without me!
So that is for the frustration...
Yesterday the race splits were finally posted on the website. I came out of the water 80/88 and managed to finish 49/88. I am pretty dam proud of that. I am not super thrilled with my bike split, need to work on that and I am pretty pleased for my 9:06 min/miles pace for the run. It did feel like a slow run except at the end when I couldn't breathe anymore....
I am enjoying well trying to enjoy a week of rest. I am trying to go for a bike ride tomorrow but I am not very hopeful.
I am also mentally and getting ready for my next race which is in 12 weeks. I am going to put together a focus training plan. The main goal being to improve my biking seriously. If it had the side effect of improving the run that would be even better!
Next race US Women Triathlon series Mission Bay (thank god no waves) 750M swim, 12.5M Bike, 3.1M Run. This race is a little longer than my previous, 300yards more to swim and 3.5 more miles to ride.
I am looking forward to our few days in the Shasta Valley coming up.
I have also started using this evil iPhone app called "Lose It" t helps you track your calories which is something I have tried to avoid for a long time. I am just doing it to learn how to know my portion size. Of course yesterday I blew by my calorie count by being extremely greedy. I was starving but paid the price later as I felt so stuffed before going to bed. I hate feeling full. I need to feel like I am satisfied but maybe on the hungry side. Anyways to lose 1/2lb/week and reach my goal of 108lb which may not be reasonnable I need to eat about 1450cal/day without counting the exercize.... I'll keep you posted on my progress. Speaking of which I better enter the info in my iphone

Glass half empty ...

Arghhh today is one of those days when I feel inadequate, when I feel a part time everything and I can't be good at any.
Part time mom: I hate when I introduce myself to someone and I ask them what they do or what does their wife do and they answer me she is a full-time mom! Maybe it is true I am not a full time mom. I can't go to 95% of the school events such as mothers day tea at 4pm just when I have my group meeting, or even the mothers day breakfast. I showed up this morning and was pretty proud of myself but of course I was there 30 minutes too early still about 15 minutes late for work!
At the school fundraiser I don't bid 200$ for the art created by the kids and I only buy 20$ worth of raffle tickets. How can I compete with the parents who spend 500$ in rafle tickets and win 3 baskets out of 8!

At work I feel like I don't do enough. I can rarely attend the after work happy hour because frankly I rather be with my kids, or the paint ball because again it would take my whole saturday! I have to leave at 5:30pm-5:45pm when all my collegues either don't have kids or have stay at home wives.

Finally in my training I feel I'm not making progress or I won't be able to do great because I simply don't have 5 hours to ride on the week end. I can only fit 45mn - 1h00 workout per day!

Am I left with the option of being mediocre at everything! I know I know this is the negative voice talking and I will try to get her out of my head but it isn't always easy. Enough of this self pity! Now that all these negative thoughts are out of my head I can focus on debugging my application and be productive!