Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I did it

I just completed my 45min bike ride on my trainer while watching Stargate. Nothing too extravagant but hey keeping a steady speed for 45min is quite more difficult than I anticipated. So now I'm starving and dinner is almost ready at 9:55pm! Chicken thigh wrapped in prosciutto in a tomato, wine sauce with rice. Yum Yum.
Now onto my next task after dinner will it be working or folding laundry or finally being lazy and just watch TV.
I just enrolled MEC to dance classes. She will be starting on Friday and I'm very curious to see how she is going to handle it. At least she is super excited to be dancing and being dressed as a princess oh boy. Anyways she was all excited trying her ballet flat, and tap shoes. I hope she will last longer than her mom 1 week really wasn't enough for me to learn anything about dancing which explains my lack of "talent"!

Too much

So the reason you haven't read any of my post lately is because there is just too much going on. I have simply too much todo. Trust me I hate admitting that as a person who wants to be able to do it all. So these are the things I'm focusing on, the family of course, work, training. Laundry is falling easily behind. Cleaning is good but folding and putting away well you know it is just nicely piling up in the laundry room.
Also since MAC started kindergarten I have a hard time working out at lunch eventhough as I am realizing working out at night is just not convenient. It is 8pm, dinner is simmering, kids and husband are getting in the shower, the flowers have been watered (yes I don't have a functional sprinkler system) and in 30 minutes I will start my 45min bike workout! Not really smart. I think the workout at lunch and working a little more in front of the TV is a much better solution.
Of course since I have 30 minutes and kids in need of shoes my lunch break was very costly!!! I didn't spend one cent for myself. I walked through Nordstroms and nothing but nothing is calling my name. This is how motivated I am to save money to be able to make money to be able to buy a house with a 30yr fix loan.
Other than that I have been sick all last week so my training has seriously suffered. Once my cold ended a cold sore started and since I'm a total moron when it comes to taking care of myself I thought a few pills would be enough to stop this thing in its track. I should know better! Now I have a big fat lip and the right side of my face is sensitive!
My last triathlon of the season is in 2.5 weeks yikes and I am a tad stressed out, and excited at the same time. I just registered the both of us for the Carslbad half marathon which is in 17 weeks! Now we have to train for it yikes again and find a baby sitter to watch the kids!

Ok 10 min spent on this post, now need to go help B with the kids read bedtime story, hop on my bike while watching Stargate and maybe we will have dinner at 10pm with a glass of wine. Maybe a little work in front of Grey's anatomy or folding laundry. Getting good at multitasking.
Life is crazy!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Hmmm what's new

Life has been busy. Between, training work and kids I tend to crash on the couch in front of the TV show we are watching at 10:30pm! We are slowly adjusting to our new schedule. I had to put some of my workouts in the evening to be able to do all I have to do during the day.
On the workout front I have been doing good, kept my daily training with one day off a week. I can feel my running improving and my bike too. Swimming is another story. I haven't been in the ocean for so long I am a bit worried.
On saturday I have an open water swim scheduled and I am planning on swimming for 1M. I am actually looking forward to it.
MAC seems to be liking school a lot which is great. He needs to focus a little more on the task at hand but what's new.
Other than that BCC was sick earlier this week, then MEC started having some fever and we stayed home today and worked from home while watching her. I actually got quite a lot done with a background of blues clues. MAC was sent home earlier too since he reacts pretty badly to insects bite. His hand is swollen and also part of his face ;(
So today scheduled workout is out and that's just fine because I am tired. Tomorrow I will try to go for a run or maybe hop on my bike.
I have managed to cook nice meals this week, roasted chicken with potatoes and green beans, mushroom soup, tonight probably some pork chop or something.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Big decision

It looks like we decided against our yearly christmas trip to France this year. Instead we will stay home quietly and go for a longer trip this summer.
Tough because I won't see my parents for a whole year but then I think it will be a nice trip then.
MAC has been asking to go to France a lot lately I hope he will understand but this time everything is against us, time off and money! Maybe we will be able to organize a few days skiing somewhere.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Stars

Soooo as many of you know I'm pretty darn harsh on myself and my new found liking for triathlon hasn't helped either. Something that I didn't realize is that in the world of triathlon the most competitive age groups for women are 30-34, 35-39, 40-44 and probably still a little 45-49. I started in the sport at the beginning of the curve and since I'm pretty darn competitive I feel down because I have trouble placing in the first 50% of my age group. What I have a tendency to forget is that a) I haven't really done anything competitive in terms of sport in my entire life, b) I haven't really worked out that hard in my entire life i kept busy but nothing really major.
I am competing with people that have been collegiate swimmers or runners!
So a few days ago I felt pretty good about my upcoming race. Then I had the bad idea to look a little bit deeper. That's when I realized that I moved age group, I'm now competing in the 35-39 which is fiercer than the 30-34. Then I looked at the splits of previous year results to see what it would take for me to be in the top 40% of my age group. Well it is going to be tough!
So then I started my self pity/destructive game and whine I don't shine.

I firmly believe that most people shine one way or another. That you don't have to be Chrissie Wellington to achieve something amazing. Yes she has won every single ironman she has done and she has blown away the best time for women by a long shot. She represents that with hard work you do succeed. She isn't like the rest of us though the ones that have to fit their workout into a already busy life.
So why can't I aknowledge to myself that eventhough I won't probably make it in the top 40% of my age group that it is OK that it really doesn't matter. What matters is that I gave everything I got that I tried. That I can look back on that day and say given the circumstances I did all I could and I should be proud of that.
Well I'm working on that last part because really what is important isn't the race is the journey. I should be proud of the fact that even when I'm tired, busy I still put my tennis shoes on and go for a run etc...
So during my run yesterday since I was trying to motivate to push the pace to try hard to not give up to not stop I was thinking of all the people I know that shine and that believe in me when I don't.
To finish this weird pshyco babble post, "You haven't failed until you stop trying!"
I have to believe that I can succeed I have to believe that I gave all I could I have to stop that little voice in my head that says really are you sure you tried hard enough, are you sure you gave all you have!
Thanks to BCC my nb 1 fan who once said he loved me because I try no matter what I do whine a lot though but eventually I will try, all the people who lend a sympatic ear to my whining about being down not being enough, nevertap, bunny, bex, mary, nikki.
Thinking about how you shine everyday carried me through a 3.9M run at a 9:25min/miles and while some are faster than me. I was faster than a few weeks ago and that is the important part!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Ocean blue ocean

Sunday I wanted to go for a swim. I toyed with the idea of joining the TCSD swim in Del Mar at 8am but of course when you wake up at 8am it is difficult to get places at the same time!
I wasn't too worried because there is always JCC but alas not lap pool on the week end! I didn't noticed that when I looked before. Neighbors called to invite us to go to the beach so off we go to Torrey Pines, I packed my swim goggle and cap since we had people to watch the kids and BCC could paddle with me.
When we got to the beach the ocean was all choppy, nice and warm though. After his surf session BCC dragged me to go for a swim. Yirkes, so much chop I literally half breast stroked and half free styled my way to a 20min swim. I have to say I had a few panicks attacks. I was definitely out of my comfort zone way out! But I made it, it was nice to not have a wetsuit but thank god for the board I could hang on to to catch my breath. I think I swam between 0.25 and 0.5M. After that felt nauseous, probably caused by all the salt water I swallowed berk!. I had a granola bar followed by some sun bathing. We packed up and started the marathon. Grabbed some lunch, dropped off the kids home, headed to TJ for the weekly grocery trip, rushed home, baked two upside down nectarine cake took a shower packed up the kids the to be cooked cake and headed to a BBQ pool party.
We spent a great evening with new people, saw what good teenager look like it is doable after all ;)
Today I want to do a BRICK, 10M bike ride fast followed by 2 miles fast. We will see what I can do. Other than that the day is open maybe meet some friends for some zoo action later in the afternoon and dinner....

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Yay

Yay, lately the solution to my blah mood, my put everything I do in questions, feel blah flabby etc... well you get the picture has been going for a good sweat session.
Tonight hasn't failed... It is funny the more tired I am the less in the mood I am to go for run the better I feel afterwards. So today I was heading out for a solo run and I didn't feel really motivated besides the fact that I was determined to go out. So when BCC tried to get the kids motivated to go with us in the stroller and was welcome by whining I helped to get them going. I knew with BCC on my side no way I was going to slack off! After some bribing, digging out some old headphone we put them in the stroller and off we went for a shorter run 3-4M. As I started running I felt my legs unwind and so I try to keep a good pace since the Garmin died I would say we ran about 3.5-3.8M in about 33:31 which is a pace between 9:30-8:50 min/mile pace... Anyhow it was a great run and now off to feed the kids, feed ourselves and enhoy our evening!
Some of my doubts and dark clouds are still with me but at least I felt strong tonight as I felt strong yesterday on the bike which means that my work is starting to pay off a little ;)
Off to prepare our dinner: Extra-Crusty Baked Rigatoni with Beef Rag├╣ and we are wondering why no matter what amount of exercize we are not losing the last 5lbs! To be honest with you if my fridge was offering more than leftovers I would gladly add to that meal a huge crunchy salad! But alas my last bit of salad was quite nasty looking ;(

Life doubts

Pfff I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this blog.
First of all MAC started kindergarten this past monday!!! He was doing quite well, his filled with excitment in the prospect of a new school, new friends learning new things but also apprehension. The one who didn't react very well was MEC. She didn't like the fact that her brother would now go to a different school. We are all adjusting to the new schedule and I must say it makes life a little crazy right now... Wait you will say really right now ; )
Yeah yeah well a little more than usual. As a true daycare kid the first thing he said to me was why all my friend are not staying with me all day! Yeah he has to learn that everyone doesn't get dropped off at school at 8 and picked up at 5:45pm! The joy of being a fulltime working mom in the US!
So yes I won't hide hide I have a hard time adjusting to the fact that out of 60 kindergartners only 15% are staying in after care program after 2:30pm and I only have met 3-4 when I have been picking MAC up!
This choice was always clear to me. I love what I do for a living. I don't do it by necessity I actually love and embrace the challenge. I believe that I am a better mom because of it. I do reserve my evenings and my week ends to them we mostly do things as a family. Anyways lets try to leave the self doubt behind...
So since a demanding full time job as a software engineer, two young kids wasn't enough lets talk about my training. I have to say that this helps me keep the stress level down and I am very grateful for this time I take for myself.
Last week end my training went on pause because of life and family activities. On tuesday I went on a run with BCC and let him chose the route. I knew that it wouldn't be easy since we were going for 4M he wanted to work hard and thus this meant hills! So off we go South on Carmel Country Road towards and I knew this would be brutal because I use this hill as a training for my bike hill training. It was still quite sticky and we started at a decent pace. As we started the hill we saw someone walking up ahead and this person didn't get closer fast enough.... I was huffing and puffing trying to keep my breathing under control but not slow down at a slug pace more like a turtle pace ;) So of course BCC to say come on we can't let this guy arrive at the top of the hill before us... I snapped promply at him because 1) I did see the dam walker and did realize how slow I was going and I was pissed off and 2) I was honestly doing the better I could... It was a great 4M run though. On wednesday I did a trainer session about 45min and I started at 8pm! Thursday was a quick swim (30min) during which I focus on wipping the water and try to get more speed. Finally friday since I was off and that a friend really really nicely took care of MEC I was able to go biking with another friend and we did almost 30M at about 14.5mph.
Now I'm off for a longish run (5-6M) we will see. I feel rather tired and sluggish right now I hope I will get more motivated as I start. It is going to be hard though since I'm alone.
Tomorrow I'm planning on swimming. If I can make the TCSD group swim at 8am in del mar it would be great otherwise I will go to the pool. Monday I'll try to go biking again!.
OK off to put my running clothes and run my doubts away and hopefully come back with a big grin.

Life is a little crazy right now... Really just right now ;) yeah well a little more than usual I guess or it's
Anyways, training has been doing pretty well. I had a 4 day break last week not because I wanted to but more because life got in the way. I had to let it go. Two weeks ago I did a couple session on the spinning bike we have at the work gym and oh boy these workouts are tough. However it gave me good ideas on how to train at home on my trainer.