Monday, May 11, 2009

Glass half empty ...

Arghhh today is one of those days when I feel inadequate, when I feel a part time everything and I can't be good at any.
Part time mom: I hate when I introduce myself to someone and I ask them what they do or what does their wife do and they answer me she is a full-time mom! Maybe it is true I am not a full time mom. I can't go to 95% of the school events such as mothers day tea at 4pm just when I have my group meeting, or even the mothers day breakfast. I showed up this morning and was pretty proud of myself but of course I was there 30 minutes too early still about 15 minutes late for work!
At the school fundraiser I don't bid 200$ for the art created by the kids and I only buy 20$ worth of raffle tickets. How can I compete with the parents who spend 500$ in rafle tickets and win 3 baskets out of 8!

At work I feel like I don't do enough. I can rarely attend the after work happy hour because frankly I rather be with my kids, or the paint ball because again it would take my whole saturday! I have to leave at 5:30pm-5:45pm when all my collegues either don't have kids or have stay at home wives.

Finally in my training I feel I'm not making progress or I won't be able to do great because I simply don't have 5 hours to ride on the week end. I can only fit 45mn - 1h00 workout per day!

Am I left with the option of being mediocre at everything! I know I know this is the negative voice talking and I will try to get her out of my head but it isn't always easy. Enough of this self pity! Now that all these negative thoughts are out of my head I can focus on debugging my application and be productive!

1 comment:

JV said...

You have to stop being so hard on yourself! So you're saying that if you spent $500 on kid artwork you'd be a better mom? NOT. You don't go to work HH to be with your kids... THAT's the making of a good mom! As far as the workout front, you just did a TRIATHLON for goodness sake. Sounds like you need a break and to drown that self doubting voice in a glass of wine ;) You want bad mom stories... Stick with me! I have quite a few!